Random Thoughts and Urinal Etiquette!!!

Urinal Stances, A Study
Originally uploaded by phil dokas

Just a couple of random thoughts this evening. First off, the World Series this year is fantastic, I am a Yankees fan, and nothing makes me happier than watching the Rays who have the 2ND lowest paid roster in Major League Baseball competing at a higher level than anyone else! Oh and seeing Boston loose but that is obvious. Second I have come to the decision that I am sick of election talk lets just get it over already, and vote it's important!!!!!! 

OK now for a little urinal etiquette, this comes from an experience at work in which I was using the bathroom at the urinal (obviously) and a person came in and with 3 open toilet stalls and 2 other urinals this lovely guy decides to stand right next to me. Now understand that when I say right next to me, I mean right next to me. There are 3 urinals on the wall to which I was facing and I was against the wall which automatically creates a buffer urinal, or so I thought!  Nope, not for this gent, he just strides right in and claims the urinal right in the middle, nods and says "Whew what a day!". Now my first thought was yeah what a day moron it is 10 am, then I thought wow all this open bathroom space and your dumb ass has to stand right next to me!!!! So I have decided that it is time that I take matters into my own hands, and set out some guide lines so that there is no confusion the next time that you walk into a bathroom. 

1. If a buffer urinal is possible do so! Look I get it, if the movie just let out there is not such thing, but for gods sake use some common sense people! 
2. You can pee in toilets in public restrooms it is not against any laws that I am aware of!
3. Pick a tile on the wall and stare at it! AKA Mind you own damn business!
4. Don't try to hold a conversation when you should be holding something else. (This isn't social hour you can talk outside after you get done!)
5. Do not try to talk on the phone and the use the urinal, unless you got insurance. Becasue the last time I checked if you drop it, it's a straight shot!!
6. It is not cool to drink and pee at the same time, matter of fact is nasty so knock that shit off!
7. Don't set you beer on top of the urinal, because if that shit falls off and gets on me there is a good chance your getting peed on!
8. If it is a troff urinal, all I have to say is hope your not shy, and start hanging out it places that have been updated this century!
9. FLUSH THE URINAL!
10. Be patient don't pee in the sink!
11. Don't pretend to know me. I am not anti social, but it is a bathroom and I don't know you that well. 
12. Before you whip around to head out of the bathroom, make sure all your seats and chairbacks are in the up right and locked postion! Check you fly moron!!!!
13. Wash your hands !! Pee splatters!!!